When someone brings their child in for me to work with, I often say something and the child looks up, amazed, and says, “Wow that makes a lot of sense thanks man I’ll start doing that.” However, when the child, boy or female, says that, the parent looks perplexed because what I just said that the child heard and wants to do now has been said 1000 times by the parent. It’s not that your child doesn’t listen to you, observe you, or study you; they do, and they’ll use your own information against you like an evil spy.

It’s because you’re trying to be everything to your child. I know what you’re thinking: I’m an expert in this field, they should listen, and they absolutely should. However, because you have not been allocated to that vertical, your voice is irrelevant. This is a good thing, and we all do it. Should you truly seek unbiased advice from someone who is very biased? Should a parent tell their child that they are bad at something and that they should quit doing it? I don’t think so, and neither do the majority of parents. The problem is that children learn this at a young age, so they do not trust you in all facets of life, and they should not.

We need others to tell our children things, we need a team. Last week, I discussed how significant I thought my high school coaches were. I’m relieved they weren’t my parents. I need someone to tell me I’m not good enough, to run me hard, and to show me that I’m not where I should be. However, I also require my parents to inform me of how far I have progressed. To tell me I’m doing great and that I’m going to be great. The kids no longer tell us how important we are; in fact, most children provide no clue that what we do as parents is beneficial, yet it is.

The lesson is that you cannot be everything to everyone all of the time. Determine what vertical you serve in this person’s life and do your best to fill it. Find the persons who will best guide your children in their own vertical if you are a parent. Allow them to watch their videos and learn from them. You’re raising a child, and that child requires feedback from others. If you recognize this when they are young, you will be able to locate the ideal people to be your children’s verticals. That way, you can still have a say in what is promoted and taught. Teach the lessons you need to teach, even if it means hiring someone else to do them.

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Dr. Matt Chalmers

Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only. Before taking any action based on this information you should first consult with your physician or health care provider. This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions regarding a medical condition, your health, or wellness.