I’m frequently asked where I obtain my parenting and relationship advice. People want to know what novels I’m reading and if they should read them as well. While I enjoy many books, “The 5 Love Languages” and “How to Win Friends and Influence People” are two that everyone should read. I obtain the majority of my information from other individuals. I have access to people that few others do.
When I observe someone who is doing very well in business, family life, or physical life as a patient, I use the opportunity to question them about their thoughts on the subject. For example, when I see a parent with excellent children, I ask them, “What did you do to raise such a child?” When I see someone who has a fantastic marriage, I often wonder what they do differently than others. In this manner, the information I have comes from a variety of sources over a long period of time.
When I discover something that several people tell me they do, I make it a point to do the same in my life. So, while I spend a lot of time reading chemical studies, I spend even more time asking individuals what they do and why they do it in connection to relationship function. I’ve always done this more for myself than for anyone else, but because I found the knowledge useful, I’m passing on the idea and why of what all of these folks did to achieve success.
I don’t have a manual for parenting and feel like I make the same mistakes as everyone else, but I am grateful for the information I have gleaned from others. I hope some of it is useful to you as much as it has been to me.
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Dr. Matt Chalmers
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